Daydream Believer

Every night, for years, I would go to bed and run through which daydream to fall asleep to.  Imagine how you drift off while in a daydream and somehow lose track of yourself.  This is what I would do at night to fall asleep.  I would imagine myself in various scenes of my life, different ages, with different people.  Sometimes these daydreams were brand new, sometimes I would conjure up an old stand by.  Last night, however, something very peculiar happened.  Normally, I'm out like a light as soon as the actual light is turned off.  Last night, however, my mind was on overdrive.  So, I decided to daydream myself to sleep.  To my surprise, however, I couldn't think of anything to wistfully transcend my wakefulness into slumber.  

I mentally ran through my rotary of fantasies.  Let's see, I could dream about the love of my life finally finding me and whisking me away into a life of happiness.  Or, I could turn over and look at him in person.  Ok, that one is out.  I could dream about the family I have always wanted, the beautiful baby with tender smiles and tiny hands.  Or, I could turn to my other side, to the sleeping angel that smells like fresh honeysuckle,  vanilla, and honey.  If I even get close to her angel face, I have to kiss it.  Yum.  Hmm, I guess I could always call to the old backup; running into an ex looking amazing, flawless, and perfect in every way.  We all have that one running around loose in our minds somewhere.  Although, that one didn't even do it for me.  There was no one I cared to run into and no one I cared enough about to care what they cared about.  In short, I didn't care.  My mental file cabinet of sleepytime dreams was EMPTY!  And then the realization wafted into my mind like the sweet smell of freshly baked muffins migrating through my home...  It happened.  My dreams had come true.  

I don't know how or when it happened.  But somewhere along the route of living life, my fantasy life had become my reality.  The man of my dreams came to find me.  The two of us created this beautiful little creature we call our daughter.  We three live in a cozy little home nestled in the forest and wake up to the sunlight bathing us in comfort and radiance.  And although it's not always perfect, our worries seem diminutive to the abundance of happiness, light, and baby smiles that we receive each and every day.  I thought to myself, as all this came flooding into my mind and heart last night, who needs to fall asleep to dreams when you can be thankful for the reality.  

I believe the reason Bee's Curiosity Shoppe is coming to the surface is because my path has finally been cleared.  The stresses, the worries, the chaos, the drama...it is all gone.  My light is shining brighter every day and I am striving for more dreams to become reality instead of wallowing in "what could have been".  The creative spirit that lived in me years ago went into hibernation and has just awoken to a beautiful life where it can flourish and thrive.  

I worked very hard to reach this point.  I shed baggage; my own and that of others.  I took an honest look at myself and worked on flaws that are definitely, at times, hard to admit.  I continue to work on improving myself and becoming a better person.  I closed the wounds that I left open.  I let the past go, let the future develop naturally, and started living in the present.  It was a climb, and I'm no where near the top.  I am not sure if I will ever reach the top.  But I know I am finished descending.  I fought so hard to have the life of my dreams.  It's when I stopped fighting, and starting living, that my life began to spin into transition.  I was so caught up in life, that it transformed right before my eyes.  What a lovely reward.   

My mind quieted as I thought of the metamorphosis of my life.  Everything softened and I relaxed.  I drifted off to sleep last night to story of my reality, my truth, and thinking how very blessed I really am.