My last post was in October. We had just moved to Maryland from Florida. Our daughter was 10 months old. My husband and I had gotten married in the end of September. He was away a lot, in training for the job that moved us to Maryland. In short, our life was chaotic. We were starting over. Then suddenly, we were transferred to Richmond, Virginia. Now, we are really starting over. And, this is my new blog.
I jump into everything head first. I just dive in. I don't test the waters, I don't look for waves, jellyfish, or even sharks. I take a running leap and think about the rest later. I shortly find myself floundering, unable to keep a float and not knowing what direction to swim in. So I start swimming in all different directions, hoping to find the right way. This is how it's been my entire life. I blame it on my creative brain, my artistic self that seems to know no boundaries. For a long time, I blamed other people for my chaos. It's me though, the root cause is always self infliction. My latest shooting star is my new business, Bee's Curiosity Shoppe.
In all honesty, I do not want this blog to be about my business at all. I am writing for myself, my own healing, and if someone out there happens to relate to it, hopefully it will help. That being said, the business will inevitably make a cameo here and there, such as today. The last couple of months I have poured myself into marketing this business. No plan, just dove right in. It was no surprise to myself that I quickly became lost, swallowed up in the social networking world of online business. I should be clear that I am grassroots kinda girl. I'm old school with an old soul. I prefer face to face conversation, I want to hear a voice and see a set of eyes. I like the personal connection, the intimacy of it all. I am also very intuitive when it comes to feeling people out. Give me a fresh, hot, cup of coffee in a cafe, and a physical human being on the other side of the table...that is how I like to do business. Put me behind a computer, and conversation is lost to me. I feel like my biggest asset, my intuition, is being blocked. That being said, I ignored my own strengths, took the advice of my peers, and set out on a social networking marketing campaign. "It is what will build my business." Etsy, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Pinterest, the list goes on. Are we serious?! My head is spinning from the all the different online networking avenues that we have created for ourselves. What ever happened to taking time out to meet people, to shake hands, to smile and look one another in the eye? What happened to personal touch?
Nevermind that I am quite simply not well versed in computers. I have a love/hate relationship with them that ultimately results in me mostly hating them. (I have crashed my computer twice in the the last two years. Two times.) Nevermind that I bobble about on Twitter and Facebook, searching my mind for things to say. I can't see anyone in front of me, so who am I speaking to?? Don't get me wrong, I think social networking and online marketing are fabulous tools and I am not going to sit here and pretend that I will discontinue their use and launch a pointless anti-social network crusade. What I am saying, however, is that I refuse to mourn the art of connecting with people on a personal level. I refuse to believe that this is how human beings will solely connect with each other. I miss the intimacy of human connection. I crave it. It is how I work best.
This week marks my week of change. It's my week of figuring out what works for me and my week to dump what does not. Or who does not. It's my week of being honest with myself, to look at my strengths and my weaknesses, to search my soul and let myself have fun. This extends to my personal life and relationships, I'm revamping it all and not concentrating merely on my business practices. I am constantly trying to evolve myself and strive to reach the next tier in my humble existence. If you skim through my previous blogs, you can see that this has been an ongoing process and always will be. It will start with getting back to my roots; my ability to connect to people, my love for writing and communicating, my passion for creativity and art. I feel that if I lead my life with happiness and heart, I will start to see my knot unravel and my head will begin to clear. Sitting behind my computer, typing what I had for lunch today, is not my cup of tea. Nor is slamming people with self promos all day long. I honestly care what people's thoughts, feelings, and ideas are. I really enjoy hearing what people have to say, if it is something of substance. (I personally don't care to hear what anyone else had for lunch either.) After this blog is sent, I will put my computer to rest, get myself and my daughter dressed and head out to enjoy the day and fresh air. Hopefully I will meet some really cool people during our adventures. I will let my life and business develop organically, without forcing myself to do things that honestly do not work for my personality. I may continue to dive right in, but the floundering about ain't gonna cut it anymore. What an interesting week this will be!
